Services

There will be a celebration of Don's life and a Vigil at St. Rita's Church in Fairfax on Friday, June 5th at 7:30 pm and a Mass of the Resurrection on Saturday, June 6th at 10:00 am. Again, thanks to all of our friends for your love and support, it means so much to all of us. Jane

Peace...peace at last

Don found peace last night at 1:41 am. I know the exact time, because I was putting the microwave timer on every hour to make sure I was awake to give him his medication so he did not once again become painful. The medication also eased his labored breathing. Being very fatigued, I could not set the timer for some reason, so I decided to let it go and hoped that I would awaken on my own. I returned to the couch next to his hospital bed, and listened for his breathing. Very soon, I heard him take two deep breaths and then no more. At that exact moment, the timer went off. I had asked Don to send me a sign when he passed and I knew this was it. He had told me the day before that I was not to worry, that he was going to be OK and that all he wanted was peace. What transpired next was even more incredible. My sister-in-law had brought a rosary for Don to use that belonged to her little girl, Kaylee. Kaylee had received it from our niece, Amy, who had just brought it from a pilgrimage in Spain, El Camino de Santiago. We had placed it on the side rail of his bed. Most recently, his brother Bob had placed it around Don's right wrist, saying: "We might as well pull out all of the stops." Sitting at his bedside, just after his last breath was taken, everything was still. Suddenly, I saw a movement beneath the covers. It was his right hand being lifted and placed over his heart. For me, I know that the man who has loved me and that I have loved for close to 45 years, was letting me know that he will love me for all eternity and that "all is well." Peace and our thanks, Jane...

The Final Stretch

Our beloved Don is now on the final stretch of his journey. He fell into a comatose state about 1 am this morning and is resting very peacefully. He is surrounded by his family and friends, and the love is palpable. Between the tears and laughter, we are sharing some of the great stories of his childhood, teaching career, river rafting trips, zip lining (oops, that was me!) and more. We are hoping that his passing is a gentle one. I will keep you informed of his condition and of the plans for his services once known. Please keep him and his loved ones in your thoughts and prayers as this is a very difficult time for us. Gratefully, Jane.

Transition to Hospice

My condition is slowly worsening, and I have now decided to go with Hospice rather than take a chance on another round of a chemo that holds no promises. My family and friends bring me much comfort and joy, so I am spending my days with short visits, laughter, and receiving hugs. Once again, my brother Bob and wife are helping with this posting, so it probably does not sound much like me. It took them forever to remember my password...and I was no help to them at all! To all of you who have been so diligent in following my journey, I want to say thank you. My family is also very grateful for your support and well wishes. I am, however, full of surprises. I rediscovered the delights of Hostess chocolate cupcakes and I look forward to the next! Peace, Don.

Update, early May

It's been just two weeks since I last wrote, correction, since my brother last wrote; I will not take full responsibility for anything in that last post. I am slowly getting stronger, and am enjoying family and friends when I have the opportunity. Opportunities have been limited by the weather, schedules, and fatigue level. I have difficulty concentrating and focusing at times, somewhat due to the cancer and the medications used to fight the symptoms. My pain level is mostly under control although finding a balance between pain relief and a clear head is sometimes a challenge. More often then not, I am enjoying the changing weather, my family (especially Violet when I get the chance), visits from friends, gifts of meals well prepared, cards, and other expressions of support and love. My wife helped me with this entry, so I again will not take full responsibility for anything in this post! As always, thank you to one and all for that love and support. It not only means a lot to me, but to my family as well.

A long 17 days

A long 17 days ago I entered Marin General Hospital for a repeat performance! Pneumonia and pulmonary emboli were my leads. A little more than the standard fare, which includes nausea and neck and shoulder pain. I don't remember all of those days and that's why my brother, Bob, is handling this entry. I do recall telling him that he was the best brother a brother could have, but he's editing this, so don't believe all of it. Bottom line is I'm home again (returned in the heat of the day, Monday April 20) and will spend time updating you on my progress after I'm settled into a routine. For what it's worth, my brother says I look good and stronger every day. Enjoy this beautiful weather and, of course, Peace.

It's a blur

When I wrote last, I was pretty jazzed about being home and away from hospitals. I've been home for three plus weeks as of today, and while I have no desire to return to a hospital, the days have pretty much blended into one another. Routines have been established, most revolving around times for the various medications I still need to take, exercises prescribed by the physical and occupational therapists I've worked with, and the daily NY Times crossword puzzle. Generally, exercising body and mind consumes a couple of hours each morning and keeps me busy. A big thank-you to George Frazier and the Tamalpa Runners for getting an exercycle for me. I'm on it for 30 minutes or so each day, and last week I was able to ride with the Tour of California guys! It's great what a TV, a recumbant exercise bike and an active an imagination can produce.

The rest of my days are spent visiting, napping, watching an occasional movie. I have been able to get out for short walks when the weather and energy levels have permitted. Even so, it's difficult not feeling confined, of being under a "house arrest" of sorts. While I'm able to take care of myself during the day, I can't function independently away from the house; even at home there are limits on what I'm able to do. My brace goes on at 6AM when Jane leaves for work, and needs to stay on until either Jane gets home or someone visits (someone who feels comfortable helping me in and out of the brace -- big thank-yous to my sisters, Donna and Diane). While it allows me to be up and mobile, it is confining in the truest sense of the word. I makes negotiating stairs, reading, and other common activities difficult. Hopefully, I'll be out of it in another month or so.

I continue to be asked how I'm doing. For the most part, and understanding the limitations I've described above, I'm OK. As I've tapered my steroid meds, some of the pain has returned, but it's no where near where it was before going to the hospital. Getting off the "roids" may also be somewhat responsible for the kind of flat feeling I've had for most of the last two weeks; I'm sure there's more at play regarding my emotional health, but the tapering of the steroid dosage could be part of it. My hands continue to be weak, limiting some of the things I can do. It's amazing how we can take so much for granted -- the ability to take a cap off of a bottle, for example -- until we lose the ability to do it any longer. Those limitations are probably another factor in how I'm doing emotionally.

Blood pressure is somewhat under control; I've been able to back off on some of the meds I was taking because BPs were actually getting too low. They are still bouncing around a bit, but within a more normal range. I'll find out more about how I'm doing regarding chemo tomorrow -- blood was drawn today in preparation for the start of cycle two tomorrow (Thursday). My last tests showed good liver and kidney function two weeks ago and small changes in blood counts. A CT scan done three weeks ago showed some growth, not unexpected, in my tumors, so I'm kind of back at square one as far as the cancer goes. Hopefully, the next scan, after two or more complete cycles of abraxane will show stability or, better yet, some shrinkage of the tumors. Ideally, it would also show some healing going on in my spine; the last CT scan was inconclusive in that regard. And so,the waiting game continues. And while it does, I'll do my best to beat the odds, as great as they are. I will put in the hard work necessary to do so, as difficult as it can be a times, and will continue to be thankful for the support I get from so many.

Peace,

Don