When I wrote last, I was pretty jazzed about being home and away from hospitals. I've been home for three plus weeks as of today, and while I have no desire to return to a hospital, the days have pretty much blended into one another. Routines have been established, most revolving around times for the various medications I still need to take, exercises prescribed by the physical and occupational therapists I've worked with, and the daily NY Times crossword puzzle. Generally, exercising body and mind consumes a couple of hours each morning and keeps me busy. A big thank-you to George Frazier and the Tamalpa Runners for getting an exercycle for me. I'm on it for 30 minutes or so each day, and last week I was able to ride with the Tour of California guys! It's great what a TV, a recumbant exercise bike and an active an imagination can produce.
The rest of my days are spent visiting, napping, watching an occasional movie. I have been able to get out for short walks when the weather and energy levels have permitted. Even so, it's difficult not feeling confined, of being under a "house arrest" of sorts. While I'm able to take care of myself during the day, I can't function independently away from the house; even at home there are limits on what I'm able to do. My brace goes on at 6AM when Jane leaves for work, and needs to stay on until either Jane gets home or someone visits (someone who feels comfortable helping me in and out of the brace -- big thank-yous to my sisters, Donna and Diane). While it allows me to be up and mobile, it is confining in the truest sense of the word. I makes negotiating stairs, reading, and other common activities difficult. Hopefully, I'll be out of it in another month or so.
I continue to be asked how I'm doing. For the most part, and understanding the limitations I've described above, I'm OK. As I've tapered my steroid meds, some of the pain has returned, but it's no where near where it was before going to the hospital. Getting off the "roids" may also be somewhat responsible for the kind of flat feeling I've had for most of the last two weeks; I'm sure there's more at play regarding my emotional health, but the tapering of the steroid dosage could be part of it. My hands continue to be weak, limiting some of the things I can do. It's amazing how we can take so much for granted -- the ability to take a cap off of a bottle, for example -- until we lose the ability to do it any longer. Those limitations are probably another factor in how I'm doing emotionally.
Blood pressure is somewhat under control; I've been able to back off on some of the meds I was taking because BPs were actually getting too low. They are still bouncing around a bit, but within a more normal range. I'll find out more about how I'm doing regarding chemo tomorrow -- blood was drawn today in preparation for the start of cycle two tomorrow (Thursday). My last tests showed good liver and kidney function two weeks ago and small changes in blood counts. A CT scan done three weeks ago showed some growth, not unexpected, in my tumors, so I'm kind of back at square one as far as the cancer goes. Hopefully, the next scan, after two or more complete cycles of abraxane will show stability or, better yet, some shrinkage of the tumors. Ideally, it would also show some healing going on in my spine; the last CT scan was inconclusive in that regard. And so,the waiting game continues. And while it does, I'll do my best to beat the odds, as great as they are. I will put in the hard work necessary to do so, as difficult as it can be a times, and will continue to be thankful for the support I get from so many.
Peace,
Don
